I had an epiphany tonight as I walked into my tiny kitchen to stir my dinner of bean and bacon soup. I stepped over my husband's legs and my son's toys as Pinners whimpered after me.
And I thought, simply, 'Life is good'. I picked up the spoon, stirred, and smiled into the wall as I had a sense of overflowing joy for the blessings in my life. Such an average night; such a random moment; such a wondrous realization.
This realization hit me at a place where I have been worried about the future and its unknown murkiness.
Suddenly, like an actual lightbulb sparking above my head, it hit me that God is the One gracious enough to bring me to this place of contentment, joy, life.
Will He not continue to care for us and lavish us with love and good things?
It may not be the way that I suspect or would choose for it to go, but it will be good.
If only because He goes with me.
Friday, December 30, 2011
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Christmas Recovery
As a self-proclaimed holiday lover, is it okay to say, here at the end of the season................phew!?
This has been a wonderful Thanksgiving/Christmas/holiday conglomeration. But it feels like life has been in super-powered Flash speed (that one is for you, Matt!) since mid-November. Some favorite moments from the past few weeks include (but are not limited to):
This has been a wonderful Thanksgiving/Christmas/holiday conglomeration. But it feels like life has been in super-powered Flash speed (that one is for you, Matt!) since mid-November. Some favorite moments from the past few weeks include (but are not limited to):
* Watching this:
* Picking out the 2011 family tree:
* Getting an 'A' in Appraisal
* More time to sing with that bearded guy on the right:
* Christmas Eve dinner at Rentschler's with Missy and Bruce
* Jake's Pizza with the Fjerkenstads.....even if we couldn't eat it there!
* Laughing through Dutch Blitz with Matt, Ann and Nate
With all of these amazing memories, it is hard to admit that I am glad that it is all over. But as I sit here with the Christmas tree lit up for one of the last times, with my husband on the couch beside me; with Pizza Hut in my belly and having finally had time to watch "Crazy, Stupid, Love", which I have been wanting to see for months, I can honestly say PHEW!
We are blessed that Matt has the next week off. With the past few months of Matt filling in as interim worship leader, our quality time has been dwindled. That hasn't been easy for this quality time love language girl. But having the next few days stretch before us blissfully unscheduled (for the most part), is a gift of great value - greater than any Christmas gift received this year for certain.
And as this year inches towards its conclusion and a new one dawns, it is humbling and exciting and a bit terrifying to admit that I have no idea what it will hold.
But some things will be definite in the coming year: there are decisions to be made and prayers to be prayed. There are hugs and kisses to give and apologies to be made. There are trials to enjoy and joys to savor. There are literally thousands of reasons to be thankful.
This past year has been one of the most amazing of my entire life.
I can't wait to see what lies on the horizon of this new year!
Friday, December 23, 2011
Stair Climbing
Over the past few weeks, we have been spending a lot of extra time at my mom and step-dad's house. First Kiki and Matt and their boys came, then Josh and Taty; now Missy and Bruce have arrived in town. Let me just say that I love my mom's house. It is home; my mom has this uncanny ability to make any place that she is "home". It didn't matter how many times we got moved from house to house - even up to Alaska - wherever my mom was was home. My mom is an exceptional home-maker.
With that being said, watching my curious, energetic boy at my mom's house has become a genuine workout. He's into everything and just wants to be free to explore. Last night, Missy was watching him for a few minutes and came upstairs to where my mom and I were, plopped down and said, "I'm exhausted!"
Of course, Finn's favorite thing to do at my mom and step-dad's house is to go up and down the stairs. They have two separate staircases, so when he gets tired of one he moves on to the next.
Up and down. Up and down. Up and down.
And so whoever is on Finn duty obligingly trudges up and down with him.
Last night, it was my honor. He has recently learned how to scoot himself down the stairs, so that is his new fascination.
As his spotter, I never took my eyes of Finn, lest I do and he slips at that moment.
I let Finn explore and have fun with his trips up and down the stairs, but I do stay right near him, within arm's distance, and stand between him and a serious tumble. True, Finn is only 1 year old so there are times when he gets distracted and loses his focus and slips. But then my arm is there to steady him; and rather than facing a terrible end at the bottom of the stairs, he may come away with a carpet scrape, but wholly intact and healthy.
As I stood there spotting him and thinking of these things (yes, these thoughts really swarm around in my head), it became a clear picture to me of how God takes care of me. When I slip and lose my focus, God's hand is right there to steady me and get me back on track. Although I have attempted to move too fast and have made mistakes, because God stood between me and destruction, all I came away with were some scrapes and bruises. God never takes his eyes off of me, lest I should I fall.
When I help Finn down the stairs, do I allow some room for him to slip? Yes, because I want him to learn from his mistakes and correct it the next time, or the next time, or the next time.
But I do everything in my power to make sure that he doesn't seriously harm himself in the process, because I love him so much that my heart wants to explode sometimes when I just look at him.
I love him. I don't want him to get hurt but I do want him to learn. And that is why I am right there to help him, to catch him.
Psalm 94:18 "When I said, 'My foot is slipping', your love, O Lord, supported me."
1 Peter 5:7 "Live carefree before God; he is most careful with you." (MSG)
With that being said, watching my curious, energetic boy at my mom's house has become a genuine workout. He's into everything and just wants to be free to explore. Last night, Missy was watching him for a few minutes and came upstairs to where my mom and I were, plopped down and said, "I'm exhausted!"
Of course, Finn's favorite thing to do at my mom and step-dad's house is to go up and down the stairs. They have two separate staircases, so when he gets tired of one he moves on to the next.
Up and down. Up and down. Up and down.
And so whoever is on Finn duty obligingly trudges up and down with him.
Last night, it was my honor. He has recently learned how to scoot himself down the stairs, so that is his new fascination.
As his spotter, I never took my eyes of Finn, lest I do and he slips at that moment.
I let Finn explore and have fun with his trips up and down the stairs, but I do stay right near him, within arm's distance, and stand between him and a serious tumble. True, Finn is only 1 year old so there are times when he gets distracted and loses his focus and slips. But then my arm is there to steady him; and rather than facing a terrible end at the bottom of the stairs, he may come away with a carpet scrape, but wholly intact and healthy.
As I stood there spotting him and thinking of these things (yes, these thoughts really swarm around in my head), it became a clear picture to me of how God takes care of me. When I slip and lose my focus, God's hand is right there to steady me and get me back on track. Although I have attempted to move too fast and have made mistakes, because God stood between me and destruction, all I came away with were some scrapes and bruises. God never takes his eyes off of me, lest I should I fall.
When I help Finn down the stairs, do I allow some room for him to slip? Yes, because I want him to learn from his mistakes and correct it the next time, or the next time, or the next time.
But I do everything in my power to make sure that he doesn't seriously harm himself in the process, because I love him so much that my heart wants to explode sometimes when I just look at him.
I love him. I don't want him to get hurt but I do want him to learn. And that is why I am right there to help him, to catch him.
Psalm 94:18 "When I said, 'My foot is slipping', your love, O Lord, supported me."
1 Peter 5:7 "Live carefree before God; he is most careful with you." (MSG)
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
More
This post is very personal for me and not always easy to talk about. I think that is because I still feel some shame when I look back at this time in my life.
With that said...
A couple of years ago, I was going through a very hard time. Without delving into too many specifics, it had to do with sleep - or lack thereof. Here is a little about that journey: https://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=96024931778.
This trial, which started so small, quickly spiraled out of control for me. To many people, losing some sleep is not a huge deal. To me, it caused my life to get completely knocked off balance. Essentially, I walked around all day, every day with a knot in my stomach, a burden on my shoulders, and a literal anxious pain in my heart. Though there were times of brief reprieve, it was fairly continuous for months and months. I look back at pictures from that time and I can still see a vacant expression on my face because most likely when the picture was taken, I was thinking about whether or not I would sleep well that night.
It was one of the toughest times that I have personally gone through and I think that one of the things that made it so difficult was that I felt all alone in it. Matt was a wonderful support during this time, often just holding me when the anxiety became too much for me, but the anxiety remained all mine to deal with.
There were brief conversations of putting me on meds to help me deal with my anxiety or sleeping pills to make sure that I slept.
None of these things seemed like the answer to me. I don't denounce the help that these things can bring, but to me it just seemed like I would be digging myself a bigger and bigger hole. I chose not to pursue those avenues and clung to God, His love, and His promise to take care of my needs. Even when it seemed as though my prayers were being met with silence, I had to keep trusting that God loved me and had good plans for me.
But the journey out of that space was long and tough. There were many times that I didn't think it would ever end. There were moments when I felt like it took everything in me to clutch tightly to God and my belief in His goodness. And at those moments, there was one song in particular that would come to my mind. It was an old song that I remember singing in church when I was younger and it is amazingly simple:
"I need You more, more than yesterday.
I need You more, more than words can say.
I need You more than ever before.
I need You Lord, I need You Lord.
More than the air I breathe, more than the song I sing,
More than the next heartbeat, more than anything.
And Lord, as time goes by I will be by Your side.
Because I never want to go back to my old life."
I would be driving in my car and trying to find the words to pray but they wouldn't come. My mind was circling the toilet of anxious thoughts, but this song would still break through. In the very deepest part of my being, beneath the layers of anxiety that just seemed to be getter thicker with each day, I knew that all I really needed was more of Jesus. Meds and sleeping pills were not the answer for me. For me, I needed more and more and more and more of Him who holds my very life in His hands.
Indeed, there are times when no words are sufficient and no human support is steady or sturdy enough. But if we can find an iota of strength to call out for more, more, more of Jesus, then the dark times cannot last forever.
Pretty, flowery prayers are all well and good. But sometimes, all God needs to hear is that we want more of Him.
Sometimes, one word is enough. More.
We are going to be singing this song again in church soon, and my prayer is that its simplicity would be a reminder of all that really matters in the chaos and confusion of this broken world.
From the other side of a life-changing trial, I say with all certainty that there is power and hope in the name of Jesus. Getting more and more and more of Him is all that saved me from a life of constant anxiety. Getting more and more and more of Him is the hope that I have for the future.
And the honest truth is I still don't sleep perfectly every night. But because I know God deeper than I did before, it is 9 gazillion times easier for me to relax and rest in His care of me.
In any trial or confusion, the answer is always more of Jesus.
With that said...
A couple of years ago, I was going through a very hard time. Without delving into too many specifics, it had to do with sleep - or lack thereof. Here is a little about that journey: https://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=96024931778.
This trial, which started so small, quickly spiraled out of control for me. To many people, losing some sleep is not a huge deal. To me, it caused my life to get completely knocked off balance. Essentially, I walked around all day, every day with a knot in my stomach, a burden on my shoulders, and a literal anxious pain in my heart. Though there were times of brief reprieve, it was fairly continuous for months and months. I look back at pictures from that time and I can still see a vacant expression on my face because most likely when the picture was taken, I was thinking about whether or not I would sleep well that night.
It was one of the toughest times that I have personally gone through and I think that one of the things that made it so difficult was that I felt all alone in it. Matt was a wonderful support during this time, often just holding me when the anxiety became too much for me, but the anxiety remained all mine to deal with.
There were brief conversations of putting me on meds to help me deal with my anxiety or sleeping pills to make sure that I slept.
None of these things seemed like the answer to me. I don't denounce the help that these things can bring, but to me it just seemed like I would be digging myself a bigger and bigger hole. I chose not to pursue those avenues and clung to God, His love, and His promise to take care of my needs. Even when it seemed as though my prayers were being met with silence, I had to keep trusting that God loved me and had good plans for me.
But the journey out of that space was long and tough. There were many times that I didn't think it would ever end. There were moments when I felt like it took everything in me to clutch tightly to God and my belief in His goodness. And at those moments, there was one song in particular that would come to my mind. It was an old song that I remember singing in church when I was younger and it is amazingly simple:
"I need You more, more than yesterday.
I need You more, more than words can say.
I need You more than ever before.
I need You Lord, I need You Lord.
More than the air I breathe, more than the song I sing,
More than the next heartbeat, more than anything.
And Lord, as time goes by I will be by Your side.
Because I never want to go back to my old life."
I would be driving in my car and trying to find the words to pray but they wouldn't come. My mind was circling the toilet of anxious thoughts, but this song would still break through. In the very deepest part of my being, beneath the layers of anxiety that just seemed to be getter thicker with each day, I knew that all I really needed was more of Jesus. Meds and sleeping pills were not the answer for me. For me, I needed more and more and more and more of Him who holds my very life in His hands.
Indeed, there are times when no words are sufficient and no human support is steady or sturdy enough. But if we can find an iota of strength to call out for more, more, more of Jesus, then the dark times cannot last forever.
Pretty, flowery prayers are all well and good. But sometimes, all God needs to hear is that we want more of Him.
Sometimes, one word is enough. More.
We are going to be singing this song again in church soon, and my prayer is that its simplicity would be a reminder of all that really matters in the chaos and confusion of this broken world.
From the other side of a life-changing trial, I say with all certainty that there is power and hope in the name of Jesus. Getting more and more and more of Him is all that saved me from a life of constant anxiety. Getting more and more and more of Him is the hope that I have for the future.
And the honest truth is I still don't sleep perfectly every night. But because I know God deeper than I did before, it is 9 gazillion times easier for me to relax and rest in His care of me.
In any trial or confusion, the answer is always more of Jesus.
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Whirlijigs: M&G Part Three
The week following our first date was an absolute blur. There were phone conversations that lasted for a couple hours each and our second date of randomness that included a Starbucks surprise, youth group crashing, Best Buy shenanigans, and most random of all: these photos.
Besides walking around with perpetual butterflies in my stomach - otherwise known as "whirlijigs" in my family - I had an inner feeling of peace through the whirlwind of romance that was sweeping me away. Every time I would start to get overwhelmed by it all, I would remember what I had felt that day of our first date: "Just relax and enjoy the journey."
The third date was indeed momentous. I invited Matt to my company Christmas party, which we subsequently skipped out of early. Who wants to watch a hypnotist when there are better things to do? For example, this was the evening that he asked me to officially become his girlfriend. One of many questions that he has asked that I have responded to with "Yes".
About two weeks after our first date, I had fallen asleep on the couch while watching "It's a Wonderful Life" as Matt wrapped Christmas gifts (Matt takes hours to wrap gifts). All of a sudden, I was awakened by a kiss and Matt telling me that he loved me. I responded in kind, and I remember being a little nervous to tell my mom this big news as I knew that logically we were moving pretty stinking fast. But all my mom said is, "I knew when it happened that it would happen quickly."
The first time that Matt hung out with my siblings, we annihilated them in a game of Scene-It. Afterwards, my sister Kiki mentioned, "It just feels as though he has always been a part of our family."
And that summed up our relationship. Matt fit into my life like a lost puzzle piece. We didn't have to be wedged together forcefully or go to extreme measures to fit each other into our lives. We just fit. Suddenly years of waiting made sense. From the very beginning of our relationship, we spoke of getting married because we just knew. Matt used to say that if he didn't meet the right person by the time he turned 30, he was going to move to Alaska. So......phew. We met before he turned 30!
The next year unfolded beautifully with a series of firsts for us:
Our first Valentine's Day consisted of pizza, gifts (a song written for me!), an excellent movie, and this:
?
Our first big fight occurred when we decided to have a game night. Six games, one loser, one winner and loser buys the winner dinner. Jenga: Matt won. Yahtzee: Matt won. Mario Kart: Matt won. Wii bowling: Matt won. Guitar Hero: Matt won. 3-point contest: Matt won. The 3-point contest is when things started to fall apart for me. After an evening of insufferable defeat, I was counting on winning this one, as last time we had played I had soundly won. This night, of all nights, Matt made like 8 3-pointers in a row. He showed no mercy, and I was longing for mercy. Matt and I are both highly competitive and it had never been more evident than that night. A couple hours later, peace was restored and we knew a little bit more about each other.
His first time meeting my bestest college friends was a raging success as they all loved him - at least, that's what they told me:
Leo's forever!!! xoxo
Our engagement is chronicled is chronicled here: http://fjerkyg.blogspot.com/2011/06/i-said-yes.html so no need to ruminate once more.
We closed on our first house October 31, 2008.
Celebrating first night of home ownership
Oh yeah, and on December 20, 2008 - 1 year and 10 days after our first date - we did this:
Now as, on Tuesday, we celebrate 3 amazing years of marriage, I look back at these memories warmly and with a smile on my face. As a husband, Matt continues to impress, surprise, and honor me. He is a true gift to me - one of God's greatest blessings.
The name Matthew actually means, "God's gift", and I believe that that is what Matt is to those that he comes in contact with. He is a gift that oozes encouragement, positivity, and faith to others.
I am so very happy to call him my husband. I love my lovey shoog!
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Walmart: M&G Part Two
One week after I first noticed Matt's attention toward me had changed, my sister and her boys (she only had two then) happened to be in town and came to church with me.
Obviously, I was interested to know her thoughts on the cute guy that I sang with. And her thoughts were? "You guys have GOT to stop flirting when you're on the stage."
As I was leaving church that day to go meet Kiki, Cort, and Lane for Sonic, I noticed Matt leaving right behind me. He walked behind me, talked some more, flirted some more. Then I got in my car and drove away. It was later that I found out that he was trying to get up the courage to ask for my phone number but chickened out.
Obviously, I was interested to know her thoughts on the cute guy that I sang with. And her thoughts were? "You guys have GOT to stop flirting when you're on the stage."
About a half hour later, as we were filling our bellies with Sonic, I received a text message on my phone from an unknown number which began an unconventional texting conversation. Long story short, Matt had hit up our mutual friend, Jeremy, for my phone number. Long story shorter, Matt asked me out for the next evening.
It was about this point in time that I started jumping up and down in my apartment (literally). My sweet nephews were looking at me like I was crazy!
But I didn't care. I had a date! With the cute guy from church! Ah, sweet bliss.
But I didn't care. I had a date! With the cute guy from church! Ah, sweet bliss.
For the next 29 hours or so, butterflies consumed my belly.
Since the next day was a Monday, I had to endure a day of work before our date. As I was telling my co-worker all the details of the "ask-out", I remember feeling a calmness overcome the butterflies for a moment and felt something inside me say, "Just relax and enjoy the journey".
That evening, Matt picked me up for dinner at HuHot (still our favorite). Three things I remember about that dinner: very deep conversation for a first date, wishing that noodles were easier to eat attractively, and talking about egg nog.
Talking about egg nog led to a momentous trek to Walmart. It was while we were at Walmart that everything truly clicked into place. We got away from all the seriousness of our dinner conversation and essentially became children. We raced through the parking lot, did cartwheels in the office chair aisle, and pressed all of the musical toys so they were all playing at once.
It was also at Walmart that Matt says he knew he was going to marry me. There was apparently a moment when he was telling a story as we were walking, and I turned around to walk backwards so that I could focus on him better.
It's the little things, I guess.
After Walmart, we went to Barnes and Noble to get coffee. After some conversation on the floor of the music section and a race through the store (who could be quickest to look up a word in the dictionary, of course), it was time to call it a night.
After four hours together, we knew we had something very special.
Matt walked me to my door and the last words he said to me that night were, "Be blessed! I know I was!"
And so it began.
Since the next day was a Monday, I had to endure a day of work before our date. As I was telling my co-worker all the details of the "ask-out", I remember feeling a calmness overcome the butterflies for a moment and felt something inside me say, "Just relax and enjoy the journey".
That evening, Matt picked me up for dinner at HuHot (still our favorite). Three things I remember about that dinner: very deep conversation for a first date, wishing that noodles were easier to eat attractively, and talking about egg nog.
Talking about egg nog led to a momentous trek to Walmart. It was while we were at Walmart that everything truly clicked into place. We got away from all the seriousness of our dinner conversation and essentially became children. We raced through the parking lot, did cartwheels in the office chair aisle, and pressed all of the musical toys so they were all playing at once.
It was also at Walmart that Matt says he knew he was going to marry me. There was apparently a moment when he was telling a story as we were walking, and I turned around to walk backwards so that I could focus on him better.
It's the little things, I guess.
After Walmart, we went to Barnes and Noble to get coffee. After some conversation on the floor of the music section and a race through the store (who could be quickest to look up a word in the dictionary, of course), it was time to call it a night.
After four hours together, we knew we had something very special.
Matt walked me to my door and the last words he said to me that night were, "Be blessed! I know I was!"
And so it began.
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Groovy Pair?: M&G Part One
December is a month of looooooooooove. Not just because family is near and people are more generous of spirit, but because December always gets me thinking back to the beginning of me and Matt's relationship. December holds memories of our first date, first "I love you", first kiss, only wedding....
As Matt and I have been together for nearly 4 years and married for nearly 3, I thought that it would be an opportune time to share some of the details of how Matt and I made it to the matrimonial altar. Since I am a person of details with a sometimes elephant-esque memory.......this story will likely take several entries to tell!
The beginning...
In 2007, I was living in Conway, Arkansas, working as a nanny and helping out with Chi Alpha ministries. I would frequently speak on the phone with my best friend, Chanelle. It was, in fact, Chanelle who first told me about a man she knew that sang on the worship team at the new church that she and her husband were attending. She never shoved the idea of him down my throat by any means, but she would mention him every once in a while and how much she wanted me to hurry up and move back home because she wanted me to meet him. She thought we would be a groovy pair!
So move back home I eventually did. August 2007 found me moving back to Sioux Falls in order to attend graduate school at USD to get my masters in School Counseling.
My first Sunday back in Sioux Falls, I attended church with Chanelle and her family. Was my curiosity piqued about this so-called mystery man/worship leader? Yes. But I also knew several people at the church already that I was eager to see again, including my old friend, Jeremy. Jeremy and I had been friends since we met at church camp when we were 17 and 15, respectively.
Little did I know that Jeremy had been playing a bit of matchmaker as well. He and Matt had been living together for a couple of months and when he found out that I would be moving back home, he mentioned my existence to Matt and said that he thought we would be a groovy pair. Jeremy even showed Matt my MySpace page (hello, 2007!) and Matt's response? "Get her here, then!"
Alas, things were not exactly easy peasy lemon breezy from that point forward. I began attending the church where Matt helped to lead worship and yes, I thought he was cute. When I had been attending the church for a couple of weeks, the worship leader, Joe, came up to me and asked me if I sang. I told him that I did, but not amazingly. He had me "audition" for him and he pulled Matt in to sing with me. It was at this time that I found out that Matt was 2 years older than me. After having spent the last two years surrounded by college-aged guys who were younger than my college-graduated self, that was a breath of fresh air. Suddenly, my interest was piqued even further.
However, that interest was halted when I realized that Matt had a girlfriend. Unfortunately for me, he had begun dating her a few weeks before I moved back home.
For the next few months, Matt's and my interactions were fairly basic. He was very friendly (is there anyone Matt isn't friendly to?) and every once in a while we would have a conversation that would reveal just how many diverse things we had in common. I remember one conversation in particular where we were quoting movie lines and knew exactly what the other one was talking about. But for the most part, we talked about "The Office" during downtime at church and we sang together. I never once felt like Matt was flirtatious with me when he was dating the other girl.
Which was why, on December 3rd, I could actually feel that his attitude toward me changed. All of a sudden, he got his flirt on. And all of a sudden, I found myself realizing that it had been quite awhile since I had seen his girlfriend...........
As Matt and I have been together for nearly 4 years and married for nearly 3, I thought that it would be an opportune time to share some of the details of how Matt and I made it to the matrimonial altar. Since I am a person of details with a sometimes elephant-esque memory.......this story will likely take several entries to tell!
The beginning...
In 2007, I was living in Conway, Arkansas, working as a nanny and helping out with Chi Alpha ministries. I would frequently speak on the phone with my best friend, Chanelle. It was, in fact, Chanelle who first told me about a man she knew that sang on the worship team at the new church that she and her husband were attending. She never shoved the idea of him down my throat by any means, but she would mention him every once in a while and how much she wanted me to hurry up and move back home because she wanted me to meet him. She thought we would be a groovy pair!
Me and my Arkansas sistas
So move back home I eventually did. August 2007 found me moving back to Sioux Falls in order to attend graduate school at USD to get my masters in School Counseling.
My first Sunday back in Sioux Falls, I attended church with Chanelle and her family. Was my curiosity piqued about this so-called mystery man/worship leader? Yes. But I also knew several people at the church already that I was eager to see again, including my old friend, Jeremy. Jeremy and I had been friends since we met at church camp when we were 17 and 15, respectively.
Little did I know that Jeremy had been playing a bit of matchmaker as well. He and Matt had been living together for a couple of months and when he found out that I would be moving back home, he mentioned my existence to Matt and said that he thought we would be a groovy pair. Jeremy even showed Matt my MySpace page (hello, 2007!) and Matt's response? "Get her here, then!"
Matt and Jeremy bonding over Dance Dance
Alas, things were not exactly easy peasy lemon breezy from that point forward. I began attending the church where Matt helped to lead worship and yes, I thought he was cute. When I had been attending the church for a couple of weeks, the worship leader, Joe, came up to me and asked me if I sang. I told him that I did, but not amazingly. He had me "audition" for him and he pulled Matt in to sing with me. It was at this time that I found out that Matt was 2 years older than me. After having spent the last two years surrounded by college-aged guys who were younger than my college-graduated self, that was a breath of fresh air. Suddenly, my interest was piqued even further.
However, that interest was halted when I realized that Matt had a girlfriend. Unfortunately for me, he had begun dating her a few weeks before I moved back home.
For the next few months, Matt's and my interactions were fairly basic. He was very friendly (is there anyone Matt isn't friendly to?) and every once in a while we would have a conversation that would reveal just how many diverse things we had in common. I remember one conversation in particular where we were quoting movie lines and knew exactly what the other one was talking about. But for the most part, we talked about "The Office" during downtime at church and we sang together. I never once felt like Matt was flirtatious with me when he was dating the other girl.
Which was why, on December 3rd, I could actually feel that his attitude toward me changed. All of a sudden, he got his flirt on. And all of a sudden, I found myself realizing that it had been quite awhile since I had seen his girlfriend...........
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