Last night I was nesting in a major way. I gutted and cleaned my refrigerator, which is something that I haven't done in .... months.
I filled our trash can to overflowing with expired food and meals from last week and weeks previous.
I had our condiment bottles set out on the floor and Finn would bring his soccer ball in and try to bowl them over. It was hilarious and cute.
It was not long after this fact, however, that I heard a "Boom!" and was surprised by some thrown-away spaghetti noodles and sauce jumping into my cleaner than ever fridge.
Slowly it dawned on me what happened. I closed the refrigerator door and discovered that Finn, while playing with his soccer ball, had knocked over the entire trash can.
There was food.........gross, expired, smelly, noodley food...........everywhere.
I scolded him handedly, maybe shed a hormonal tear or two, and ordered him out of the kitchen while I processed what to begin cleaning first.
As I cleaned, I calmed down........I knew that it was just a simple 2 year-old mistake.
Since it took me thirty minutes to clean it all up............I had plenty of time to work my way to calm.
All of this to say:
I sat down with Finn after I had the mess cleaned up. At first he didn't want to come near me because he had seen my mad face and heard my mad voice.
When I told him, "Mommy isn't mad anymore. She just wants to love on you." He says, "Okay," and comes right to me.
I put him up on the table as I sat in a kitchen chair so that we were nearly eye level.....and the first thing that I tell him is,
"Finn, I love you very much."
In the aftermath of all of the hullaballoo, that was the very first thing that I wanted him to hear from me.
His actions upset me, yes. But my love for him was not swayed for a moment. There, as we began communicating about the situation, was the perfect and most ideal time to let him know that I loved him. I felt it flowing through me as I sat down to talk with him and I just had to tell him.
It has been awhile since I have written about comparing God's love to parental love........but this is one of those posts.
Because in all of the thousands of ways that I mess up (it happens all the time really), I still feel God's love beating for me in everything that surrounds.
In fact, I think that when I do mess up and then come to Him to communicate about it, that's the first thing that He wants me to know:
"Gretchen, I love you very much."
God operates from a position of overwhelming, overcoming love......always.
Much like Finn didn't want to come near me until he knew I just wanted to love him, it is often hard for us to come near God until we understand the way He loves.
"Watch what God does, and then you do it, like children who learn proper behavior from their parents. Mostly what God does is love you. Keep company with him and learn a life of love. Observe how Christ loved us. His love was not cautious but extravagant. He didn't love in order to get something from us but to give everything of himself to us. Love like that." - Ephesians 5:1-2
That's where He begins and ends........in love.
That's where all of His dealings with us happen.......in love.
That's the lens through which He sees our messes...........in love.
How awesome is that? How utterly reassuring and peace-giving is that?!
I know I feel better :).
1 John 3:1: "How GREAT is the LOVE the Father has LAVISHED on us, that we should be called the CHILDREN OF GOD! And that IS what we ARE!"
