Talented Lumps of Clay

Being that I have a passion for psychology and the human mind, I tend to do a lot of evaluating. I evaluate why I am the way I am, why others are the way they are, what childhood trauma caused my husband to eat the last piece of pizza, and how getting upset with my son this morning will irrevocably mess him up for all future relationships.

Just kidding. Sort of.

But truly, I love a good personality test and I love the defining lines that they can give to the messy, vacillating orb that is my personality.




Lately, I have been seeking God a lot lately about the topic of talents.

Not the fraa-laa-laa-laa American Idol audition kind of talents.

But the Biblical kind of talents, the kind that we are supposed to be investing and growing, lest we be thrown outside into the darkness where teeth tend to gnash (Matthew 25:14-30).

Put simply, I want to be used. I want to matter. I want to be a tool to give God glory.

During our church's corporate fast this past month, that is one thing about which I was seeking God.

Where do you want me? Am I investing my talents in ways that honor You?

In this season of my life, with two squishy young 'ins, investing talents tends to be more difficult.

- I sporadically sing on the worship team, but it is often with spit-up on my shirt (or this past week, coffee).
- I make connections with some of our young adult women, but it is often electronically via Facebook or text. When it is in person, there is typically a little person grabbing my hair or jumping off couches for attention.
- I dream about creating human videos, but my bold visions are often thwarted by realistic wet blankets like limited practice time.

So I do what I can do.

I absolutely invest in the lives of my boys. I know 100% that they are my greatest investments. For them I love, I teach, I discipline, I lead, I clean (usually), I cook (meagerly), I load dishes and laundry machines. I snuggle. I squish their squishy faces.

But I do more than these things because I also believe that investment can lie outside of the boundaries of family. After all, I am more than a wife and mommy. I am a woman. I am a servant of God.

I ask, I seek, I pray, I offer.

During these last few weeks, God has definitely guided me in a certain direction that has filled me with excitement and expectation.

This is the rough version of how God spoke to me about talents over the last few weeks:

1. Use what you have. Take time and evaluate yourself - identify what you are good at, what you are not so good at. Be honest. If you're not sure, ask God to show you and He absolutely will. God made you the way He did for a reason and purpose and He longs to see you utilizing the traits He has placed within you.

Also, use what God has brought you through. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 says, "All praise to the God and Father of our Master, Jesus the Messiah! Father of all mercy! God of all healing counsel! He comes alongside us when we go through hard times, and before you know it, he brings us alongside someone else who is going through hard times so that we can be there for that person just as God was there for us..." (MSG).

There are reasons we cannot fathom for going through the dark days we go through; but often it is so that we can help others who need a hand in their own darkness. If God has brought you through something incredibly hard, it brings Him glory when you help someone else in a similar situation.

2. Invest yourself. Prayerfully, with consideration, but invest yourself. Get busy about the things that you are passionate about. Whatever gets you excited, whatever you find immense joy in - get busy! Passion doesn't just mean positive emotions either - whatever stirs up feelings of anger, indignation, or injustice - do something! Think outside the box and get creative. You don't have to just fill holes left empty by someone else.

Forget insecurity. Remember that God loves you and cling to that. Find rest in His deep, abiding love. Find your security not in what you can bring to the table, but in the God who has called you.

3. You don't need to use allllllll your gifts at one time. I believe that some gifts we have are for certain seasons of our lives. For example, I love to write and journal about what God is doing in my life. Sometimes I am able to whittle out some time to write, sometimes I am not. I just try to do it when I feel inspired, when I feel led.

Also, some of our gifts need to be honed and refined before we use them greatly. Take my handsome and hunky and bearded hubs; Matt is an amazingly gifted worship leader, but he refined his gift for years before God opened the door and said, "Now. Go."

There is much to be said for funneling all of your energies into one or two areas of service; if you spread yourself too thin, then you're probably not serving anywhere abundantly enough to matter. Bring it before God and ask. He loves to be asked (especially when we wait long enough to listen)!

4. Don't compare yourself to others who have similar giftings. There is only one you and God can best use you in the areas He has planned for you - no one else can matter in the way you matter. God has certain ministries, conversations, lives set up along the pathway He has for you. You need only to pay attention to Him and obey, so that you can walk in it.

Romans 12:6 says, "Let's just be what we were made to be, without enviously or pridefully comparing ourselves with each other, or trying to be something we aren't" (MSG).

I read somewhere that when we compare ourselves to others, we wind up either disappointed or prideful. I, for one, don't wish to be either of those things. Does anybody?


Lastly....

Matt and I went to "Catching Fire" a few weeks ago. One really great aspect of that movie is comraderie and teamwork; every person had a skill that they used as their main weapon and helped to serve the greater purpose. Katniss - archery, Finnick - strength and coordination, Beetee - eccentric smarts, Johanna - axe, Peeta - camoflauge (oh Peeta....how boring).

They utilized other skills and traits, but they really leaned upon what they were innately good at.

I really think there is something to that. It is futile to try to fight the battle of life with weapons that are not a natural fit.

Seek God, ask Him which of your traits and abilities He can best use for His glory.

You will be amazed at what He can do with a a malleable lump of clay.

"Only one life, 'twill soon be past. Only what's done for Christ will last." C.T. Studd

A Bad Case of Stripes

When I first started working towards my masters degree in school counseling, I was single, childless, and highly motivated to do well and attain one of those semi-elusive school counselor positions.

Years passed. I met this most wonderful man:

 (maybe you know him?). 

We fell in love. We got married.  We procreated. 

Upon the birth of our son, Finn Matthew, I fell in love again:

(maybe you could see how?)

And all of a sudden, all that I wanted to do was to be with this little man. I didn't want to miss a moment or a happening. I wanted to be the one to lay him down for every nap and the first one to see his chirpy little face when he woke up.

I wasn't a perfect mommy. I got frustrated. I struggled with the surrender of my selfish desires so that I could better meet his needs. I got lonely on days when he was my only human interaction. I didn't clean the house every day (or every week....cough cough). 

When I took a year off from school to revel and indulge in Finn's first few months of life, it was very difficult to imagine finishing the degree that I had started sooooooooooo long ago - we're talking 2007 here!

I moaned, I groaned, and I wondered - often - what it would be like to not finish at all. 

Long story short.......I went back. I finished. 

(See?)

With the support of the most amazing team of people behind me that believed in me and by relying on God's strength when mine gave out, the driving force that helped me to finish was hoping that when all was said and done, I could be with my boy.

When I found out halfway through last semester that we were expecting another sweet baboose, I received an extra boost of drive. I knew that it was not an easy calling and that in many ways, working a full time job outside of the home would be easier and less stressful than mommy duty. But yet.......

all I wanted was to hit graduation so that I could be home with my boys. 

Last month, I was having lunch with 4 Kindergarten girls. As they ate, we chatted. Then one of them handed me a book and asked me to read it.

I had never heard of this book before; it was titled "A Bad Case of Stripes" by David Shannon.

This book is about a little girl who loves lima beans. However, before she starts her first day of school, she decides that she must hide her love of lima beans because loving lima beans is........well.......weird. Unfortunately, as she hides this love and tries to be like everyone else, she finds that she far too easily becomes what people tell her to become. When someone says stripes, her skin turns into stripes; same thing when someone talks about polka dots, an American flag, a rainbow, etc. Whatever people suggest, she turns into. They say it, she becomes it.

She is completely at their mercy, simply because she was caught up in thinking she needed to be like everyone else.

There were moments these past few months when I have felt that way, as though the only proper exclamation point on the end of this whirlwind year would be a full time school counselor position. It has definitely seemed enticing at times.

Since I graduated, I have been asked many, many times: "What are your plans?"

And truth be told, there have been times when I have been embarrassed to say, "Well, I really want to be home with my boys, so I am looking for something part time so that I can utilize my degree but not miss moments with them."

It sounds simple enough to speak those words......but sometimes it is difficult.

For some reason, at times, that answer seems like not enough. Which has made me feel like not enough.
I feel like I should want and aspire to a full time job where I can use my degree. After all, what if all of those years were for nothing? What if I toiled and tried and cried my way through those classes for no payoff?

Yet as I was reading this children's book to a table of adorable kindergarten girls, it hit me.

I just need to eat my lima beans.

I need to stop worrying about what others might think. I need to accept what I feel that God has called me to for our family. I need to stop asking myself those obnoxious "what if" questions.

I know that the road I am choosing is not an easy one. But I also believe that it is blessed because God is leading me down it. I am positive with every inch of my being that I will not look back at my life 30 years from now and regret the choice to spend as many moments with my boys as possible.

The world may say "go out and use your degree immediately", but my heart speaks something different.

I want to be a school counselor full time someday..............just.................not yet.

It's funny the lessons one can learn from a children's book.

Pearl

Yesterday was a very important day for me - I had to see my inaugural client. Yes, I actually got to the point in my program where I get to counsel living, breathing people who are dealing with life.

I was so excited and nervous at the same time; I felt as though there was a load of responsibility on my shoulders, but at the same time it felt it belonged. It felt like the load that I had been expecting and hoping for the past few years as I have taken classes. It all felt right.

Before I left the house yesterday morning, I was trying to calm the butterflies fighting for attention in my belly. I happened to glance at my pearl ring and realized that it was just what I needed to help me.

My pearl ring is very special to me. I got it a couple of years ago for Christmas, and it was actually something that I had been wanting for awhile. I am not much of a jewelry adorner (except for my multitude of feather earrings :)) but I have always been drawn to pearl jewelry.

As cheesy as it sounds, it is because my name means "pearl".

Growing up, I always hated my name. I longed to be called by something cute and feminine - Nicki or Tiffany or Kelly Kapowski - something like that. There isn't a lot of room for cuteness or femininity in Gretchen.

But my mom had prayed for one more baby, a little girl that she could name Gretchen who would look cute in braids. She never even told my dad what they were naming me until after I was born - it was her little secret. Maybe she was afraid someone would try to talk her out of it? :)

I wore a lot of braids growing up.

I didn't really start to embrace my "Gretchen-osity" until I was in my early 20's. It was then that I really latched onto the meaning of my name. Pearl. That which starts as an irritant invading an oyster's shell, becomes a lovely pearl. At that time in my life, I was trying to define who I was and why I was. Embracing my name meaning was a part of that, as it made me feel that if I could learn to welcome the irritants of life, they would work me into something beautiful......eventually.

It was for that very reason that when we were looking at baby names, I was dead set on finding names that meant something. We decided on Finn not only because we love the name, but also because it means small, fair soldier. I remember that when we first saw his ultrasound picture and decided he would be Finn, Matt said, "David was a small soldier too!". Every time I would get anxious about his well-being in my ever-expanding belly, I would tell myself, "No! He is a soldier, a fighter; he is just fine!"

So anyway, I like pearls. When I see a pearl, it reminds me that I am still being made beautiful.

As I was gearing up for my client session, I would touch my pearl ring and remember who I am and that I am called to do this very thing: listen, help, encourage.

There's a certain peace that comes in knowing I am doing what I am meant to do.

Give it Away, Give it Away, Give it Away Now

In past Christmas seasons, I am ashamed to admit that I have devoured all of the gifts, traditions, and enjoyments in a selfish manner. It was all about savoring every moment, indulging my senses with many of my favorite things with intention to tide me over until the season came around again.

This year, however, I have felt God laying it on my heart to stop hoarding my blessings - especially during my favorite time of year. After all, isn't there more joy to be had in sharing my love of the season, rather than keeping it all for myself? The answer is yes. :)

There are a couple of ways that I am responding to what has been laid on my heart.

For starters, I have been gutting my closet lately in an attempt give away clothes that I absolutely do not need. Because I am a very sentimental person, I have a tendency to keep items simply if they remind me of a particular place or experience. For example, there is this shirt:

It brings back a hilarious memory with amazing friends, Mikaela and Emily. But the simple truth is that I was never a huge fan of this shirt and just bought it so we each would have one. I think I have worn it once because I feel as though it fits me weird.

So out it goes! Along with many others. This time, unlike previously pathetic closet cleansing experiences, when I hold up an item that I am on the fence about, I ask myself, "Could someone else use this more?". If the answer is "Yes", it goes in the pile.

I have been looking at this experience a bit as a purging of silly t-shirts that don't relate to my level of silliness anymore.

 For example, while the My Little Pony t-shirt goes,

 the Teen Wolf t-shirt stays.

 I am still on the fence with the Queen t-shirt - not quite sure if I am ready to let go of my Queen phase yet :). 

Secondly, this video was shown during church last Sunday:

And it really drove the point home to me that Christmas is a time to externalize love, not to internalize and hoard.

It is a bit ironic that I am feeling this way this year, as it has been many years since I have felt this......un-wealthy. So the fact that I feel this desire to give pressing upon my heart is proof that God is stoking this fire. If our family was rolling in the dough, so to speak, it would seem more natural to want to pour forth from that overflow. But since our wallet is tighter than it has been in recent years, I believe that this burden is a chance to step out in faith and open the door to allow God to do some really amazing things in our lives.

Challenge accepted, God :).

Lastly, I want to encourage anyone reading this to step out and give a little of yourself this season - whether it is for a loved one or a stranger, whether it is financial or some simple quality time - I pray that our eyes are all opened to the fact that time is short and we only have so many moments to make someone else's life better, even if it is just for a day.

Here is one more video that I wanted to share. I watched it earlier today and seriously bawled my eyes out - in a heaving sobs, puffy eyes, snotty nose kind of way. Finn was looking at me like, "Mom? What's the shiz, diz?"

But it is another wonderful example of being an offering to make someone else's life more extraordinary:

The Graduate

No metaphorical ruminations or odes to weight loss today.

Today, the main thing on my mind is that in approximately one week I will be preparing to re-begin grad school. Granted, I am getting my feet wet slowly by taking only one class, but still.......it kinda sorta feels like a lot.

Sometimes, this feels like the masters degree that knows no end! It is crazy to think that I started this program in August 2007; before Finn, before my job, before Matt. I honestly had an entirely different life back then!

I had just moved back home to Sioux Falls after 2 years in Arkansas, working as a nanny, doing ministry with Chi Alpha, and spending most of my spare time with Kiki and her family. I remember at one point when I lived down there, Kiki was trying to teach Cort to ask her or Matt before he could do something. And he says, "Yep, I know! I ask you or Daddy or Goosey!" I felt honored :).

Cort and Goosey

Me and Laners

Since I have lived in Sioux Falls again, graduate school has been a fairly big part of my life. And at this point, there are only FOUR semesters for me to complete before I am finished.

Even so, there was a part of me that didn't want to go back. I didn't want to mess with Finn and my routine and honestly, I didn't want to be away from my boys for 5 1/2 hours every Tuesday evening. I admit, I can be selfish with my time!

But the thought of going back to class still gives me butterflies in my stomach; I know deep down that there is that part of me that loves school and desperately desires that degree. Thanks to the encouragement of my husband, back to class I go! And I am hoping it is not just because he wants his 'guy' nights back!

I remember when I first realized that I wanted to be a school counselor. I was working on homework and had on an episode of Seventh Heaven in the background as mindless noise. And the younger son on the show (Simon, to you die-hard fans), was talking to his dad about a problem he was having. I found myself wanting to give him advice - speak life and encouragement to him! And all of a sudden, I just knew. I knew that I wanted to be a counselor for kids. I immediately called my mom - who, by the way, is the best counselor I know - to discuss the possibilities with her.

At the time, I was in my final semester at North Central and was student teaching. I had two separate sections of student teaching. The first was in a small Christian school with 3rd graders. Those kids just oozed love and acceptance. They saved me spots at their lunch tables, handcrafted cards for me, and made it a habit of telling me that they thought I was wonderful. IT was wonderful.

But my second student teaching section was vastly different. It was at an inner city middle school with an extremely diverse population of kids. And man, did those kids make me work for it! For the first couple of weeks, I lived my life with a perpetual pit in my stomach because of how much they intimidated me. But slowly, as I showed genuine interest in their lives, they began to accept me. I had to seek them out because they weren't coming to me! So I spent lunch time playing basketball with the boys, I talked to the girls about my crush on Orlando Bloom, I went to their dances and baseball games.

All of this to say that middle schoolers are my absolute favorite age group. Not that I don't love the younger kids, but there is a certain investment value when the relationship costs blood, sweat, and tears! Therefore, middle schoolers are where my heart is, the ones I get excited to work with and counsel.

By the time I was student teaching, I knew enough about teaching to know that I did not want to be a teacher for the rest of my life. This is not the prime spot to find oneself in during the last semester of college! However, with my newfound passion for counseling, I figured that if I honed in on school counseling, then I could still use my undergraduate degree AND get to do something I love.

Being ever the planner that I am, I did not go directly into grad school but chose to move down to Arkansas for two years in order to build a savings to pay for my masters. Plus, there was probably a piece of me that wanted a teeny, tiny break from school.

As I am sitting here rehashing what a process this degree has been, I am able to look back with a peace and know that I am still doing what I am supposed to be doing. Somehow, amongst all the twists, turns and speed bumps on the road, I still feel like I am where I am meant to be. I still feel the inner drive to work with middle schoolers.

There are times when I look at how full my life is and can allow myself to get overwhelmed by it all. How am I supposed to be a full time stay at home mommy, a part time work from home employee, a part time graduate student, and a full time wife?

But I guess what I am realizing more and more is, why get overwhelmed when I can give thanks for the gifts He gives each day? Why get dragged down with complaining when I can rejoice in God and thereby be lifted up? Why dread the tasks of each day when I know that I can do ALL things through Him who gives me strength?

These are the kinds of things I need to think about when I feel my grad school motor slow down to a limp. I know that I have been equipped for this task. I want to be working with kids. I want to work for that investment. I want to be a blessing, because I have been so very blessed.

Oh, Be Careful Little Mouth...

My mom used to have a song she would sing to reprimand our naughty mouths that went like this:
"Oh be careful little mouth what you say! Oh be careful little mouth what you say! For the Father up above is looking down in love, oh be careful little mouth what you say!"

To this day I am not sure if she created this one herself or stole it from somewhere else. Either way, it was preferable to a bar of soap in the mouth :).

I have been ruminating on my words recently as Finn has begun crawling. He crawls everywhere and he moves quick and he is fearless when it comes to pulling himself up on things. As I spend the greater part of my day shadowing him and making sure he is safe, I have caught myself saying things like,

"You are so exhausting!"
"You little nerd!"
"You are such a handful!"
Although I say these things with laughter in my voice, I usually wish that I could take those words back and replace them with something softer and more gentle.

Colossians 4:5-6 "Be gracious in your speech. The goal is to bring out the best in others in a conversation, not put them down, not cut them out."

There is no denying that the affect that words have over us is powerful. They can hit us like a punch in the gut or soothe us like an arm around the shoulder.

My mom was telling me a story awhile back about when she was in college. She was working in downtown Minneapolis and had a nasty cold. After one particular cough explosion, she overheard someone say, "That's a cough that isn't long for this world". To this day, she still hears that voice when she gets sick, wondering if it is a malady making way for the grim reaper.

For me, it goes back to words I heard as a child. When I was growing up, the words that I remember the most about myself are "brat" and "selfish". This is not to say that I didn't deserve them or that they weren't often said in jest; it is not to say that many nice things weren't said as well. It is simply to say that they are the ones most seared in my memory. Even still, anytime someone says one of those words in conjunction with my name, it takes me a second to catch my composure again.

Just last week, Matt and I were discussing our game plan on something and he said, "I'm not saying you're being selfish, but....". And I just started crying. That word has power to me. To me, selfish and brat are the two worst words in the entire English language. Yes, they are even worse than 'moist'; worse than 'succulent'; worse than 'bootylicious'.

In many ways, I feel as though I have lived much of my adult life trying to run from those two words; I try to distance myself as much as possible from them. But the unfortunate truth is that sometimes I still act bratty. Sometimes I still act selfish. They have followed me into adulthood, into marriage, into motherhood.

We all have things about ourselves that threaten to bring us shame. Since childhood is such a formative time in life, many of these undesired characteristics were derived before we had any inclination to their long-term results.  Even more so, many of those bandaged-over wounds can still rip open from time to time - no matter how old we get.

Because of this, I am trying to stay sensitively conscious of the words that I speak over Finn. It would literally break my heart if he were to ever think that he is 'too much to handle' or an 'exhausting' presence in my life. Or that he truly think himself a nerd and thereby become blissfully uncool! As his mother and the person that is with him nearly 100% of the time, it is my job to speak goodness and love into his life. I am discovering that there are ways that I can release what I am feeling without negative connotation.

Instead of, "You are so exhausting!" I can speak, "You are so adventurous!"
Instead of, "You little nerd!" I can speak, "You are so funny!"
Instead of, "You are such a handful!" I can speak, "You keep Mommy on her toes!"

Ephesians 4:29-32 states, "Watch the way you talk. let nothing foul or dirty come out of your mouth. Say only what helps, each word a gift."

A gift. With the words we speak, we can give gifts of encouragement, love, and tenderness. Each time I talk to Finn, I can choose to let him know that I love him and that I think he is an amazing blessing. May this sweet little boy never doubt that he is loved!

Similarly, as I concentrate on speaking positive words over my son, I am also practicing doing the same thing over myself.

'Brat' and 'selfish' do not have to be burdens weighing me down as constant reminders of how I used to be. Rather, they can be catalysts to remind me how not to be. I may have a spunky attitude, but I am not a brat. I may have grown up selfishly wanting my own way, but as an adult woman I can pour myself out to be a blessing for others. Words do not define us; actions do. But words can have one heck of an impact. May I use my words as gifts, to bless, and to find beautiful things in others.

Romans 12:17: "Don't hit back; discover beauty in everyone. If you've got it in you, get along with everyone."

"Don't let evil get the best of you. Get the best of evil by doing good." Romans 12:21

1 Peter 3:8-11 says, "Summing up: Be agreeable, be sympathetic, be loving, be compassionate, be humble. That goes for all of you, no exceptions. No retaliation. No sharp-tongued sarcasm. Instead, bless - that's your job, to bless. you'll be a blessing and also get a blessing. Whoever wants to embrace life and see the day fill up with good, here's what you do; Say nothing evil or hurtful; snub evil and cultivate good; run after peace for all you're worth."

"The Giving Tree" Church

It is probably no secret to any regular readers of my blog that I am a Christian and I grew up in church. God and church have always been a huge part of my life.

A couple of days ago I attended a retirement party for a couple that is extremely dear to me - Pastor Ron and Margo Traub. They have been my pastors for.....well....for forever.

My family began attending 1st Assembly of God church when I was 3 years old and it was often at the forefront of family activity. In other words, it was our second home for many, many years! We were at church for every service, as my mom didn't think there was any good excuse to miss - even for homework :). So every Sunday morning, every Sunday night, every Wednesday night..............the Swanson family shuffled in like a small herd.

As I was sitting at the retirement party yesterday and seeing faces from throughout the years and watching the slideshow that chronicled the Traubs 29 years of service........I couldn't help but reflect on the barrage of memories that were being drawn up. That church and its people are tied to a plethora of my memories.

 - It's where I would sit and play in the orange chairs when we used to have church in the gym....before the sanctuary was built. I often went and sat by Dorothy Elliot because she would bring fun toys!

 - It's where I first began singing at the age of 3; "Jesus Loves Me", anyone?

 - It's where us kids would play Hide and Go Seek as we waited for our parents to pick us up from Kid's Church

 - It's where I was a flower girl in my cousin's wedding and got to wear a pretty dress with flowers in my hair and walk down the aisle with the ring "bear"

 - It's where I became an expert explorer when the new sanctuary was being built and we would wander through the construction site

 - It's where I watched my older siblings perform in the youth group plays and wished I could be that cool

 - It's where I played in the sanctuary while waiting for my parents during countless music practices, throwing my Barbies off of the balcony

 - It's where we spent Sunday nights, then headed out after church with a regular crew to meet at Rolling Pin

 - It's where I met my best friend.....standing outside the nursery when we were 7 years old and my dad was selling hers a house. She pulled my hair and told me I was her best friend. 22 years later - we are still best friends!

 - It's where I said a final goodbye to my big brother Matt - his funeral was held there in October 1995

 - It's where I performed in a play when I was 14 years old, which led to me later sitting in my car with my mom in the driveway and praying to rededicate my life to God

 - It's where we would leave for camps bright and early Monday morning being all cute and clean....and return Friday afternoon disheveled, inspired, and wearing whatever was packed at the bottom of the suitcase

 - It's where we used to turn off all the lights and play Sardines throughout the entire church building

 - It's where I participated in Singing Christmas Tree after Singing Christmas Tree......I was at various times a little girl waking up Christmas morning, a ballerina, a choir member, Mary, and a teenager up in an attic.......

 - It's where we spent countless hours playing pool in the youth room

 - It's where I would shake with nerves every time I got up to sing a solo

 - It's where we honed our skills for Fine Arts Festivals

 - It's where we worked to pull off the Valentine Dinner Theaters

 - It's where we had Graduation Sunday and I  received the Bible that would become awfully marked up during my college years

 - It's where I got married to the love of my life

 - It's where we returned after several years away and were welcomed back with open arms

 - It's where I got to sing with my husband while he led worship

 - It's where we dedicated our son to God

Looking back on these many memories has reminded me just how God has used the church to
nurture me,
mature me,
comfort me,
discipline me,
teach me,
love me.

I keep thinking of "The Giving Tree", and the tree that kept sacrificing pieces of itself in order to care for the boy it loved. In many ways, that is what the church has been for me. It is chock full of people who have sacrificed their time and given their talents so that I and many other children could grow in the knowledge of God.

I get downright giddy when I think of how incredibly grateful I am to be able to provide Finn with that same support system.

And now it is my turn. It is my turn to give and sacrifice so that others will know how MUCH God loves them.

Shoo-ee His love is extravagant! I get emotional even thinking about it. That is what people need to know.

I wish I knew how best to thank people like the Traubs who poured into my life.

I can't say for certain what they would prefer, but I venture to say that the best 'thank you' they could ever receive is seeing a life they poured into living for God's glory.

So to my parents and the Traubs and my children's pastors, youth pastors, Sunday School teachers, and many many others...............

THANK YOU.