Oh, Be Careful Little Mouth...

My mom used to have a song she would sing to reprimand our naughty mouths that went like this:
"Oh be careful little mouth what you say! Oh be careful little mouth what you say! For the Father up above is looking down in love, oh be careful little mouth what you say!"

To this day I am not sure if she created this one herself or stole it from somewhere else. Either way, it was preferable to a bar of soap in the mouth :).

I have been ruminating on my words recently as Finn has begun crawling. He crawls everywhere and he moves quick and he is fearless when it comes to pulling himself up on things. As I spend the greater part of my day shadowing him and making sure he is safe, I have caught myself saying things like,

"You are so exhausting!"
"You little nerd!"
"You are such a handful!"
Although I say these things with laughter in my voice, I usually wish that I could take those words back and replace them with something softer and more gentle.

Colossians 4:5-6 "Be gracious in your speech. The goal is to bring out the best in others in a conversation, not put them down, not cut them out."

There is no denying that the affect that words have over us is powerful. They can hit us like a punch in the gut or soothe us like an arm around the shoulder.

My mom was telling me a story awhile back about when she was in college. She was working in downtown Minneapolis and had a nasty cold. After one particular cough explosion, she overheard someone say, "That's a cough that isn't long for this world". To this day, she still hears that voice when she gets sick, wondering if it is a malady making way for the grim reaper.

For me, it goes back to words I heard as a child. When I was growing up, the words that I remember the most about myself are "brat" and "selfish". This is not to say that I didn't deserve them or that they weren't often said in jest; it is not to say that many nice things weren't said as well. It is simply to say that they are the ones most seared in my memory. Even still, anytime someone says one of those words in conjunction with my name, it takes me a second to catch my composure again.

Just last week, Matt and I were discussing our game plan on something and he said, "I'm not saying you're being selfish, but....". And I just started crying. That word has power to me. To me, selfish and brat are the two worst words in the entire English language. Yes, they are even worse than 'moist'; worse than 'succulent'; worse than 'bootylicious'.

In many ways, I feel as though I have lived much of my adult life trying to run from those two words; I try to distance myself as much as possible from them. But the unfortunate truth is that sometimes I still act bratty. Sometimes I still act selfish. They have followed me into adulthood, into marriage, into motherhood.

We all have things about ourselves that threaten to bring us shame. Since childhood is such a formative time in life, many of these undesired characteristics were derived before we had any inclination to their long-term results.  Even more so, many of those bandaged-over wounds can still rip open from time to time - no matter how old we get.

Because of this, I am trying to stay sensitively conscious of the words that I speak over Finn. It would literally break my heart if he were to ever think that he is 'too much to handle' or an 'exhausting' presence in my life. Or that he truly think himself a nerd and thereby become blissfully uncool! As his mother and the person that is with him nearly 100% of the time, it is my job to speak goodness and love into his life. I am discovering that there are ways that I can release what I am feeling without negative connotation.

Instead of, "You are so exhausting!" I can speak, "You are so adventurous!"
Instead of, "You little nerd!" I can speak, "You are so funny!"
Instead of, "You are such a handful!" I can speak, "You keep Mommy on her toes!"

Ephesians 4:29-32 states, "Watch the way you talk. let nothing foul or dirty come out of your mouth. Say only what helps, each word a gift."

A gift. With the words we speak, we can give gifts of encouragement, love, and tenderness. Each time I talk to Finn, I can choose to let him know that I love him and that I think he is an amazing blessing. May this sweet little boy never doubt that he is loved!

Similarly, as I concentrate on speaking positive words over my son, I am also practicing doing the same thing over myself.

'Brat' and 'selfish' do not have to be burdens weighing me down as constant reminders of how I used to be. Rather, they can be catalysts to remind me how not to be. I may have a spunky attitude, but I am not a brat. I may have grown up selfishly wanting my own way, but as an adult woman I can pour myself out to be a blessing for others. Words do not define us; actions do. But words can have one heck of an impact. May I use my words as gifts, to bless, and to find beautiful things in others.

Romans 12:17: "Don't hit back; discover beauty in everyone. If you've got it in you, get along with everyone."

"Don't let evil get the best of you. Get the best of evil by doing good." Romans 12:21

1 Peter 3:8-11 says, "Summing up: Be agreeable, be sympathetic, be loving, be compassionate, be humble. That goes for all of you, no exceptions. No retaliation. No sharp-tongued sarcasm. Instead, bless - that's your job, to bless. you'll be a blessing and also get a blessing. Whoever wants to embrace life and see the day fill up with good, here's what you do; Say nothing evil or hurtful; snub evil and cultivate good; run after peace for all you're worth."