Love Languages

I have heard it said before that we tend to give out love the way that we like to receive it. 

For those who feel loved when being held or touched, they hold and touch. 

For those who feel loved when encouraged and affirmed, they encourage and affirm. 

For those who feel loved when things are done for them in service, they serve. 

For those who feel loved when spending quality time together, they give quality time. 

For those who feel loved with gifts, they give gifts. 

I have found this to be true in my own life, most definitely. 

I recognize it by the way that I feel when someone is speaking my love language. I feel valued, cherished, thought of. I feel more than loved; I feel known. 

Matt and I speak different love languages. It has taken some time to learn just how much he appreciates it when I bring him a gift to show him that I have been thinking of him while I was shopping at Target. When I make the gift an energy drink, I get to watch his face light up like an 8 year old. 

To me, I do enjoy when he thinks of me and gets me a gift at Target. 

But when he gives me words of affirmation and tells me how he loves me and why he loves me?

Overwhelmed.

Bowled over.

Tears.

Joy.

While it is good for me to know under what circumstances that I feel the most loved and best receive love, I can't just leave it at that. I need to be cognizant of the love that I give out as well. 

This is how I am working on it:

I have said on this blog before that I am a shy and timid person. In fact, it is in my "About Me" section that I hate small talk. 

While that isn't a lie by any means, I am beginning to realize that sometimes if I speak something enough over my life, I just might start to fully believe it. 

Because there is a need in me to be pursued, I can have a difficult time beginning conversations - going up to someone cold turkey and breaking the ice. 

Being the youngest child, I grew up having a lot of others do the talking for me. My best friend is a genius conversation holder. My husband could talk to a wall if he really wanted to. I am used to others carrying the conversation while I sit back and observe.

The truth is, I can be shy. However, when the need has called for it, I have risen to be an excellent talker and relationship pursuer.  

What I have begun to realize is that I can't always wait for others to make the first step.

How tragic it would be if someone went untalked to, or felt unloved, because it made me feel uncomfortable. 

I guess I just don't feel like I can really take that risk anymore. 

I have been called to love. Loving means loving the other person in the way that they can best receive it.......which may not always be my natural way of giving love. 

In this way, love means being uncomfortable. 

I have finally gotten comfortable with that.