I finished "The Magician's Nephew" a couple of days ago and as I have proceeded through the series, my thoughts keep coming back to one tiny part in that book that seemed fairly insignificant at the time it was read.
Digory, the main character, has been sent on a mission with his friend, Polly, and a horse named Fledge, in order to retrieve an apple from a specific tree for Aslan. It is in the midst of this short journey that Digory says, "Well, I do think someone might have arranged about our meals,". Fledge, the talking horse (a horse is a horse of course of course and no one can talk to a horse of course....) responds by saying that he is sure Aslan would have, if they had asked him. Polly, aware of Aslan's great knowledge, suggests that "Wouldn't he know without being asked?"
The horse, full of wisdom, says simply, "I've no doubt he would. But I've a sort of idea he likes to be asked."
Since I read that passage, I have been looking at the prayers I pray from a different standpoint. There are some that I leave unspoken and there are times that I desist from praying because well, God is God and surely He already knows. Yeah, I can be lazy.
But isn't it true that He likes to be asked? He likes it when we come to Him for what we need. He doesn't have to be ask in order to know our needs, but when we do come to Him it builds the relationship that He so longs to have with each of us.
So the past few days, each time an anxiety or need creeps into my brain, I hear, "I've sort of the idea he likes to be asked". So, I ask. I come.
"Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life." (Philippians 4:6-7 MSG)
A beautiful new song I heard for the first time today. Come!
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On an entirely different note, tonight I was teasing my husband. Sometimes I get actively passive aggressive (yep, actively passive!) with my teasing. For example, if he tells me that he really likes my shirt, I will tease him and say, "So you don't really like my pants?".
I know, I'm such a girl.
Tonight, it centered around my looks. And I could hear myself saying bad things about myself to him just to get a reaction. But I couldn't seem to stop pushing the matter. Maybe I was looking for him to tease me back and flirt; maybe I was looking for a compliment. I really couldn't tell you.
Suddenly, he stopped me cold with, "How does God see you?"
I'm pretty sure my breath caught in my throat as the negative things I had been saying about myself - joking or not - hung in the air between us. Actual tears came to my eyes as I felt convicted because I know that the way I was picking myself apart is not what God does when He looks at me. He looks at me through eyes of grace and mercy. He looks at me with love. He looks at me and finds me beautiful, even when I feel far from it.
I hope to remember that moment when my husband corrected me the next time I feel the urge to say something bad about myself.
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On another, totally different, completely distinct, not even a little bit related note:
I made my first meal from Pinterest tonight.
And it was gooooooooooooooooooood.
I think the Crockpot will be my friend.
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