Tonight is the first night that I have not nursed my son since his birth. And it is hard. I have missed holding him close............stroking his hair.................I even miss him slapping at and pinching me. I already miss the nearness of nursing. I am a weany weeny.
But there were a few things today that highlighted that it was time. I have been thinking about weaning him completely for about a week now. After all, he is over 13 months old, and most women (from what I have read) nurse until about a year. After all, I don't want to keep nursing him just because it is difficult for me to give it up.
Today was it.
- I worked for a few hours today and when I picked Finn up from my mom's, she was holding him and I was taken aback by how big he looked! Granted, my mom is teeny tiny so most things look big next to her. But boy my boy looked big.
- He has been in a great mood all evening long. Whereas yesterday evening, he started following me around and crying/fussing at about 8:30 (half hour before his nursing - he was ready!), tonight he played happily for the most part. When he would get a bit fussy, I would give him some milk and distract him with a story. Plus, the ultimate distraction came over......which leads to my next reason:
- My mom asked if she could come over tonight and bring Finn a couple of things. Like a beacon of confirmation, she brought him a new blanket that she had made for him and a "sleep giraffe", which is essentially a snuggly giraffe with a noise machine tucked inside.
Snuggly tuddly with his new "lovey" blanket and giraffe pal
Every day Finn gets closer to being a toddler and further away from being a baby. And while it is definitely bittersweet that I am done nursing my boy, it has been a gift while it lasted. I cannot wait for the next phase of motherhood; so tonight is not about mourning what is past but rather looking excitedly toward the steps to come.
And, God willing, there will be more babies to nurse in the future :).
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