Wild Rumpus

"And when he came to the place where the wild things are they roared their terrible roars and 

gnashed their terrible teeth and 

rolled their terrible eyes and 

showed their terrible claws till 

Max said "BE STILL!" and 

tamed them with the magic trick of staring into 

all their yellow eyes without blinking once and 

they were frightened and called him the most wild thing of all..." 

- Where the Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak

We have been dealing with a most formidable foe at the Fjerkenstad household the last few weeks:

Fear.

For the first time, Finn has been truly fearful of certain things. Most of these fears seem to matriculate when it is time for bed. Even for a two year old, life is scariest when one is alone and things are dark.

I have been admittedly a bit baffled by this fearfulness, if only because it seems to have come on so suddenly. Where did my brave, independent boy go? He who used to revel in being given the freedom to play alone in the basement now frantically chases us up the stairs if we start to leave him. Is it just a developmental phase or is this fearfulness a byproduct of something else in his life?

Since this is all new for us, I have been treading carefully when it comes to handling Finn's fear. Essentially, I want to teach Finn to manage his own fear. I don't want my big boy to face his life afraid and shrinking back from things.

In other words, I don't want him to handle fear the way that I did for many, many years. I've learned it doesn't go away if you ignore it......it just gains more power and grows more frightening.

The way I see it, starting now, however we help him deal with fear builds the foundation for how he will deal with fear for the rest of his life.

No pressure.

I feel as though it is a balancing act between listening to him tell his fears but not allowing him to dwell in them.

I want to seek to understand without fostering the fear and making it worse.
I want to let him know that his fears are heard but also that they have no power over him.
I want to hold him when he is afraid but I also want him to know that he is brave and strong and can conquer them on his own.

I want to throw one arm around him in comfort and use the other arm to equip him with a weapon to fight back the fear.

My best friend was over a few weeks ago while I was putting Finn to bed (Bachelorette finale - woop woop!) In his fear as I laid him down, he wanted me to leave the door open and the hallway light on. I did, but as I wandered out to Chanelle in the living room, I sought her advice on how she handled this phase with her own 3 sweet kids.

She quickly asked me, "Did you pray with him?"

Ummmmmmmmmmm..........no.

How had I not even thought of that?! I have prayed for him but I had honestly never thought to pray with him. Praying with him welcomes him into the process and it teaches him through my example.

If I am going to equip Finn to face and deal with his fears, then prayer is the first and last of weapons that I need to be giving him.

Duh. Thanks Chanelle!

The way that I see it, if our fears are like the yellow-eyed, gnashy monsters from "Where the Wild Things Are", then prayer is yelling "BE STILL!" directly at them.

"...Yell a loud no to the devil and watch him scamper. Say a quiet yes to God and He'll be there in no time..." - James 4:7 (MSG).

Now when Finn feels the very real and intense emotion of fear, I pray with him. I am beginning to teach him that he is not alone because he has a Heavenly Father who is ever with him and for him. It is my hope that as he matures, he will realize this truth in greater and increasing measures.

'And now', cried Max, 'Let the wild rumpus start!'" WTWTA