The Finish Line

The end of the semester is so close that I can nearly taste it. I am stretching out my fingers so far toward the finish line that sometimes it seems as though time slows down around me. I take my final on Tuesday and in my spare moments have been dreaming of all that I want to do once that finish line is crossed.

I've got a list of books I want to read. 

I want to dominate our family photo album and Finn's baby book. 

I want to start studying for comps - the big test I have to take in the fall to complete my graduate program. 

And I want to start running. 

I have never been much of a runner; the few times I have tried have been pretty pathetic.  

When I was a freshman in high school, one of my favorite teachers was a coach for track. When he recruited me for the team, I joined because I felt honored and I wanted to please him. Plus, the sweats the teammates received were cute. 

I spent those months on the track team attending practices half-heartedly and sitting at meets, anxiously dreading the moment when it was my turn to run. I loathed waiting for the pistol to fire, signaling the start of the race. 

There are other times that I have tried to become a runner since then - each equally disastrous. 

Over and over again, I have heard of "the wall" in that exists with running. It's killer to reach it, but once you break through, there is relief, enjoyment, power. I never cared enough to push past that wall. Until now. 

There are a couple of reasons why the urge is surging in me. 

1. The next couple of semesters of schooling for me are going to be pretty intense. When I focus too much on those looming months, I feel overwhelmed. There are times when I am not sure if I can do it, if I can finish what I started 5 years ago. I am hypothesizing that if I can push myself physically in this way, it will help me see that I am capable of more than I think I am (and that's before I even factor in God's help). In short, I hope it can boost my confidence, prove something to myself about myself.

2. Finn's wake time is typically between 7:30 and 8 a.m. each morning. I figure that I can fairly easily discipline myself to get up at 7 each morning and get out for a run (Matt will still be home if he wakes up before I return). This will jump start our mornings; if I am lucky I can even squeeze my shower in before he wakes up. I see this as being immediately beneficial in providing more energy to our days. I see this as being long term beneficial as well, as once my schedule gets crazier in the fall, it won't be such a shock to my system.

There are my reasons. This blog is my accountability. Now I just have to do it. Eeeek.