Thrown Down a Hill

"Michelangelo said the best way to judge the essential elements of a sculpture is to throw it down a hill and the unimportant pieces will break away. Sometimes life is like that. It tosses us down a hill. But when we reach the bottom and only the important pieces are left, that's when our vision clears. That's when we hold on tight to what we know while hope stirs inside us. It's all a matter of perspective" - Everwood

I know what it's like when things break, when they fall apart, when they don't go the way that they should.

Despite being a part of what I consider the best family in the world, I learned that life is not always sunshine and rainbows and sugar-covered gumdrops. My childhood knew divorce, and death, and poverty.

Through all of these things, I learned at a young age that life does not always go the way that it should. Despite God being a very great God, existing in this world means taking a daily risk that it will fling a terrible circumstance in our direction.

As I was watching footage of the tornado that demolished Joplin, MO a few days ago (I was going to write that it 'touched down in Joplin', but that just did not seem accurate), I was overcome with grief and a phantom feeling of loss for the people that live there. And all I could think was, "How do people live through something like that without God?" Who do they call out to? Who do they cling to?

Maybe it is the Christian upbringing that I had, but through all of the unfortunate circumstances in my life, God has been my steadfast peace, my singular hope, and my strength that got me through.

When life sends adverse circumstances, I recall that "All things work for the good of those who love Him and who are called according to His purpose" (Romans 8:28 NIV)

When life gets dark, I declare, "Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will not fear for You are with me" (Psalm 23:4 NIV)

When I feel like I can't go on anymore, I proclaim, "They that wait upon the Lord receive fresh strength" (Isaiah 40:31 MSG)

When I begin to worry about the future, I recall, "Peace I leave with you, my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid" (John 14:27 NIV)

When I get discouraged as I did this past week, consumed with thinking about all of the things in this world that can bring harm and pain, I remind myself,  "Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things" (Philippians 4:8 NIV)

I guess that what I am getting at is that there are so many things to fear and suffer from - if I focus on those things the fear only grows, it feeds on itself.

Therefore, the only resolution that I can come to in dealing with this broken world is to focus on Him who brings healing and wholeness. No matter what pain and suffering befalls me, I can trust in the fact that He is good and does good and will continue to do good.

I found this in an article on relevantmagazine.com, speaking about the death of Lazarus and why Jesus didn't respond earlier than he did when he was completely capable of doing so: "Don't let His silence or delay confuse you about His goodness. There is no suffering in which Jesus will not walk and weep with you. There is no hurt the power of God can't bring new life to. In the proper time Jesus will make His way to your tomb, roll the stone away, and bring life to the dead. And the tears formed from mourning and doubt will flow with joy and gratitude"

I often compare God's love for me with my love for my son - its the closest that I can come to understanding the utter vastness of how He loves me. Just today, Finn rolled over from his tummy to his back as he has done a bajillion times now. I can put him down on the ground with his toys and he will literally roll across the entire floor. Today I was sitting right beside him as he did this and watched as he rolled too fast and bonked his head a little too hard on the ground.

He began crying. I immediately picked him up in my arms and gave him comfort and soothed his pain. But I did not stop the pain from happening to him. As a mother, it is impossible to stop him from ever getting hurt or crying - no matter how much I wish I could or how much it saddens my heart to see him cry. I cannot stop the pain from happening to him but I can embrace him and comfort him and be with him in his pain.

Isn't it like that with us and God?

"I'll never forget the trouble, the utter lostness, the taste of ashes, the poison I've swallowed. I remember it all - oh, how well I remember - the feeling of hitting the bottom. But there's one other thing I remember, and remembering, I keep a grip on hope. God's loyal love couldn't have run out, his merciful love couldn't have dried up. They're created new every morning. How great your faithfulness! I'm sticking with God (I say it over and over). He's all I've got left. God proves to be good to the man who passionately waits; to the woman who diligently seeks. It's a good thing to quietly hope, quietly hope for help from God. It's a good thing when you're young to stick it out through hard times. When life is heavy and hard to take, go off by yourself. Enter the silence. Bow in prayer. Don't ask questions. Wait for hope to appear. Don't run from trouble. Take it full-face. The "worst" is never the worst. Why? Because the Master won't ever walk out and fail to return. If he works severely, he also works tenderly. His stockpiles of loyal love are immense." (Lamentations 3:19-32 MSG)