Dirty Dipper Thoughts

In my life thus far, nothing has opened my eyes to the crazy large love of God like being a parent has. Each day when I look at my son and feel my heart overflow with love for him, God in turn whispers His love for me, "I love you both even more than what you feel right now, more than you can imagine." For someone who hasn't always readily accepted the love of God, it can be a little overwhelming!

A couple of days ago, Finn was being a little bit of a fussy-butts. He had been crying for awhile when I laid him down on the changing table to change a dirty dipper (yes, dipper). I looked at him and longed to soothe him, longed to help him understand that it would be okay. Whatever was bothering him was temporary and he would feel so much better if he just relaxed! And that led me to think about how God must say that to me all the time. He looks at me with my tears and fears (Tears for Fears - yeah!) and tries to console me. The problem is that I, like Finn, often cannot hear Him through my crying. I, like Finn, get caught up in the bellowing. And I just feel like if I could shut my tears off and listen more closely to what God is saying, I would hear "It's going to be all right! I see the end of this dilemma and it isn't as terrible as you think. I am here right beside you. I can't make you stop crying, all I can do is tell you that I am here with you and it will all be all right." Why do I think God is saying that? Because that's what I desire to communicate to Finn. "Son, it's going to be all right! I am right here and I will see you through your crying. Cry all you need to, get it out of your system, and know that everything is fine!" Unfortunately, Finn is too immature to understand me yet. All he can comprehend at this point is a soothing voice and touch - but not the words that I speak. Sometimes I can be a fussy-butts with God. But I am realizing that the more I turn myself to hear Him speak, the quicker I am comforted. The more I know Him and grow in the knowledge of Him, the more I can comprehend the exact words He says to me.

A few days ago I was changing Finn's dipper on the changing table (we do a lot of bonding at the changing table) and he began crying. I found myself saying to him, "Why are you crying? You don't want to stay in your dirty dipper, do you?" And again my thoughts paralleled the moment to my relationship with God. How often do I cry out when God begins to change me? Being changed isn't necessarily a romp-roaring good time, after all. But would I rather stay in my dirty dipper, the mess I made for myself? Or would I rather let myself be lifted onto God's theoretical changing table, let Him clean me up, and be as good as new? Granted, I will probably mess myself again in another hour or so....but God is right there to lift me back up to His changing table if I let Him. The less I fuss, the quicker the change will be.